In case you haven’t heard, next week’s episode of SmackDown Live will feature a “Rap Off” between The New Day and the current SmackDown Tag Team Champions, The Usos. And while I have more faith in The New Day and The Usos to perform an entertaining rap battle than pretty much anyone else on the roster — yes even John Cena — that’s not to say I think pro wrestlers should ever cross over into the musical world.
That being said, here are five of the worst songs ever recorded by pro wrestlers.
5. “Rap Is Crap,” The West Texas Rednecks
Some would argue that “Rap Is Crap” does not belong on this list. Indeed, I myself think “Rap Is Crap” is so hilariously bad that it’s actually genius. Nevertheless, it’s arguably the most infamous song ever recorded by a (group of) pro wrestler(s), and for that reason, it absolutely earns mentioning here.
“Rap Is Crap” was the climax of an actual WCW storyline wherein real-life rapper Master P took on The West Texas Rednecks, and it’s both absolutely delightful and horrifically stereotypical. God bless the memory of WCW for creating this masterpiece.
4. “Fantasy,” Maria Kanellis
While the internet currently can’t stop listening to Maria and husband Mike Kanellis’s catchy new 80’s power ballad-inspired theme song, Maria’s attempt at becoming a rocker herself back in 2000 fell completely flat.
She’s not a bad singer, per se – but the song itself is just cringey. But where the song is cringeworthy, the music video is downright creepy. I don’t think Maria’s voyeur could look more like a sexual predator if he tried.
3. “Be A Man,” Randy Savage
In 2003, the late, great Randy Savage released a rap album called “Be A Man,” and the title track is essentially a promo on his arch-nemesis and former tag team partner Hulk Hogan.
The line of the song is without a doubt Savage’s diss against Hogan’s notoriously bad movie career: “I was in Spida-Man….you’re hiding man!”
2. “Never Been A Right Time To Say Goodbye,” Bret Hart
Sometimes Bret Hart says strange things, like accusing Seth Rollins of being an unsafe worker. And once upon a time, Bret Hart recorded a very strange song called “Never Been A Right Time To Say Goodbye.”
The song was just one track on 1993’s “WrestleMania: The Album,” and Hart doesn’t so much sing on it as he does recite a poem over very colorful synthesizers. Actually, that entire album deserves a spot on this list. Bizarrely, it failed to chart in the U.S. but reached No. 10 in the UK
1. “Hoeski,” Zack Ryder
This song is just horrible. No words can account for its horribleness; you have to listen for yourself.
Zack Ryder’s “Hoeski” is a song about an ex-girlfriend who did him dirty. Clearly, it was an attempt to capitalize on Ryder’s burgeoning internet stardom in 2013, and somehow it did manage to crack the Top 100 on the iTunes pop charts, but man is it terrible – and not even the good kind of terrible like “Rap Is Crap.”
So there you have it: five of the worst songs ever recorded by pro wrestlers. But this is far from a comprehensive list – there are many, many more terrible songs out there. What do you think are some of the worst songs ever recorded by pro wrestlers? Share them below!