WWE resurrected the Punjabi Prison match last year, which got us thinking: what are the worst gimmick matches in WWE history?
Here are the top five.
Punjabi Prison Match
There’s a reason there hasn’t been a Punjabi Prison match in WWE in 10 years: it’s really not that great.
The Punjabi Prison match consists of a cage of bamboo surrounded by another cage of bamboo. The inner cage contains four doors which are opened once for just 60 seconds. After those 60 seconds they’re padlocked closed, thus forcing the contestants to escape over the top. Really, it’s just way too complicated – and most of the men who have competed in the Punjabi Prison matches aren’t exactly known for their agility. Maybe Jinder Mahal and Randy Orton will make it more interesting, but don’t hold your breath.
Bra and Panties Match
Male readers might disagree with me here, but the years and years of Bra and Panties matches promoted by WWE hardly encouraged fans to take women wrestlers seriously. Even worse, the very first Bra and Panties match was actually fought by Trish Stratus and Lita – and it was for the WWE Women’s Championship.
You read that correctly: the storied Women’s Championship was contested in a Bra and Panties match. Ugh. Thank God for #GiveDivasAChance.
Kennel From Hell
I suppose it’s only fitting that one of the most infamous storylines in WWE history culminated in one of the most infamous gimmick matches in WWE history: the Kennel From Hell.
After Big Boss Man kidnapped Al Snow’s beloved chihuahua Pepper and subsequently cooked and fed the pooch to an unknowing Snow, Boss Man was forced to square off against Snow inside the Kennel From Hell: a blue-barred cage surrounded by a Hell in a Cell. Oh, and the perimeter of the ring was patrolled by “vicious” guard dogs… who were more interested in being pet and pooping on the floor than they were in attacking anyone.
Concrete Crypt Match
I’m not sure how to explain this match, so I’ll just dive right in. At the Great American Bash pay-per-view in 2004, The Undertaker faced the Dudley Boys in a handicap Concrete Crypt Match. Here’s how it worked: Undertaker’s manager, Paul Bearer, was strapped to a chair inside a glass box at ringside. If The Undertaker won the match, the glass box would be filled with concrete.
Paul Heyman was also at ringside, and every now and again he’d stop the match to dump concrete on Bearer when The Undertaker was winning too much. But The Undertaker ultimately killed his own manager, not just by winning the match, but also by physically pulling the lever to completely submerse Bearer in concrete.
Hardcore Evening Gown Match
The WWE Hardcore Championship was enough of a gimmick on its own without dressing up two Hall of Fame wrestlers in drag and having them fight over it. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what happened when Pat Patterson defended the title against Gerald Brisco in a Hardcore Evening Gown match at King of the Ring in 2000.
Even worse, Patterson’s and Brisco’s embarrassment was all for naught: Crash Holly interfered in the match and pinned Patterson to win the championship.
What are your thoughts on these matches? Do you think there are even worse gimmick matches WWE has booked? Share your comments below!